Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
