Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
