So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
