Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
