jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
