Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
