I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
