you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
