I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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