The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
