well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
