so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
