do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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