You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
