The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
