nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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