So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
