Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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