burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
