mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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