"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
