We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
