the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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