I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
