The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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