i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
