Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
