Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
