just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
