WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
