Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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