I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
