if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
