we have officially mastered the walk of shame
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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