Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
please come you make the beer taste better
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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