Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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