Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
