i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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