i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
