so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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