She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
