the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
