party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
