sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
