He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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