Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
