why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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