I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
