I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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