im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
